Rock Bottom With Ryan

In this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Carolina shares her recovery story: a first-generation American Latina with a sober date of 2/18/2021 whose substance use began around ages 10–12 and escalated from alcohol and marijuana to cocaine, crack, heroin, PCP, acid, and ultimately methamphetamine. She recounts childhood physical and sexual abuse, running away, homelessness, gang-associated environments, domestic violence, arrests, trafficking drugs, and cycling in and out of prison, where she was introduced to meth and experienced psychosis. She describes profound losses, including her 15-month-old daughter Krystal’s death after Carolina blacked out and left her in a car, resulting in incarceration. Her turning point came after seeing her son’s eyes during family violence; detox, outpatient care, recovery coaching, and peer support helped her avoid a 5150 and rebuild. She founded The Happier Life Project in Riverside County to provide inclusive, harm-reduction-oriented recovery support, emphasizing meeting people where they are, family support, and multiple pathways to recovery.

In this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Sadie shares her recovery story: clean since November 21, 2019, originally from Georgia and now in North Carolina, with amphetamines as her drug of choice. She describes a chaotic childhood with an addicted father, emotional disconnection at home, bullying that damaged her self-esteem, and lifelong masking through invented identities. After moving to Fayetteville, she began using cocaine at 18 and quickly spiraled into 14 years of addiction, isolation, and destructive behavior. Sadie explains how prescription Adderall became her downfall, escalating to 500–700 mg a day, triggering severe psychosis, hallucinations, and total impairment. She was taken to detox, entered treatment and transitional housing, embraced NA, rebuilt relationships with her children, and now centers her life on meetings, service work, sponsorship, and daily recovery.
 
00:00 Trauma and bravado 00:53 Show intro and sponsor 02:29 Meet Sadie and sobriety 03:27 Family and early childhood 05:55 Dad relationship and forgiveness 09:29 Bullying and self esteem 12:43 Reinvention in high school 18:22 First high and instant hook 21:29 Spiraling and isolation 27:58 Adderall takes over 33:51 Psychosis and hallucinations 35:07 Meth Hallucinations Begin 35:42 Weeks Without Sleep 36:25 Tweaking And Shadow People 39:06 DIY Chaos In Suburbs 40:51 Detox And Lady Gaga Delusion 42:32 Treatment Phases And Sober Housing 43:24 Acceptance And Fellowship 47:07 Rebuilding Life And Family 49:55 Daily NA Routine And Sponsoring 54:43 Service Work And Purpose 57:42 Goals Peace And Parenting 01:02:07 Advice Quotes And Farewell

Ryan interviews Matthew, a UK-based psychotherapist and co-founder of Sober Life, about his progression from drinking and early substance use at 13–14 to alcohol dependence by 16 and eventually smoking and injecting cocaine by 24. Matthew describes childhood family dysfunction, severe withdrawals including seizures and hallucinations, arrests, hospitalizations, and daily use that included 10–12 liters of strong cider and heavy cocaine spending. He explains how entering a 12-step treatment center and committing to meetings and human connection supported his long detox and early recovery, leading to 12 years sober since January 19, 2014. They discuss shame-free, client-centered approaches, neuroscience and dopamine-driven cravings, practical relapse-prevention strategies, rebuilding identity, progress over perfection, and bringing recovery tools into corporate settings where substance use is common.

Ryan and Rachel discuss how chaos can persist in sobriety through overbooking, restlessness, and chasing dopamine, and how peace and stability can feel uncomfortable after years of addiction-driven turmoil. They reflect on self-induced chaos during drinking, the difficulty of sitting still, and how boredom and isolation can trigger overthinking and worst-case scenarios. Ryan shares frustration after injuring his back while trying to stay busy, and Rachel talks about finding a meaningful friendship and starting a new YouTube project, “Two Girls in a Chair,” as well as using quiet moments with her pets to calm her mind. Rachel also describes a recent emotional trigger involving her dad’s health and how she grounded herself by recognizing her stable life today. They advise listeners to ride out discomfort, practice calm, and trust that chaos will pass.
 
00:00 Friendship Beyond Memes 00:37 Injury Forces Stillness 01:17 Show Intro and Sponsor 02:54 Chaos After Getting Sober 04:04 Self Induced Busy Mode 06:31 Back Injury and New Plans 08:06 Two Girls in a Chair 10:15 Finding Real Friendships 13:17 Pets and Learning to Chill 15:51 Peace Feels Uncomfortable 16:46 Overthinking and Meetings 18:25 Gym Frustrations and Limits 19:42 Isolation Spiral 21:04 Healthy Alone Time 21:48 Boredom In Sobriety 24:54 ADHD And Restlessness 26:17 Learning Stability 27:16 Dad Stress And Grounding 31:25 Excuses And Showing Up 33:36 Ride It Out Advice 35:55 Closing Encouragement

On Rock Bottom with Ryan, Ryan and co-host Rachel Sereni interview Denny LaVé, a Montana-born Idaho entrepreneur and political candidate, about a childhood marked by family breakup, instability, poverty tied to parental substance abuse, and early exposure to pornography that shaped shame and trauma responses. Denny describes being kicked out after high school, couch surfing, and navigating college with little support, as well as later crises including a near-suicidal episode during business and marriage turmoil. He explains how building professional and spiritual support—therapy modalities like EMDR/IFS, pastoral counseling, church, exercise, and reflection—helped him begin healing and regain emotional awareness. Denny shares experiences in the Marine Corps, time in a French monastery, near-death events in construction, why he wrote a memoir to be transparent as he runs for office, and a message of identity rooted in being loved by God.

In this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Ryan interviews Sonia, a licensed psychotherapist and first-generation Mexican American from Pomona, California, about her recovery journey. Sonia shares growing up with an alcoholic father, trauma at home, and later an abusive relationship that fueled heavier drinking and drug use, including cocaine and crystal meth. She describes a serious car accident while drinking, quitting drugs when she became pregnant in 2003, and escalating alcoholism during grad school, including drinking 12–16 beers, drinking alone, hiding bottles, and experiencing severe depression and suicidal ideation. After outpatient treatment, she found Alcoholics Anonymous, got a sponsor, worked the steps, and has been sober since 12/27/2012. Sonia discusses healing through faith, AA, and brainspotting, opening her own practice, launching the podcasts “Con Amor, Your Therapist Friend” and “Soul to Soul,” and encouraging listeners to address trauma and seek professional help.

On this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Jordan from the Los Angeles area shares his sobriety date (July 27, 2025) and describes years of alcohol-fueled partying that often led to cocaine and other drugs. He recounts a childhood shaped by a loving, overprotective mother, an absent father who exposed him to heavy partying early, and how quitting sports in high school accelerated drug use, stealing alcohol, selling drugs, and seeking validation by supplying party favors. Jordan details toxic relationships, arrests, drinking on the job, and a suicide-attention attempt with painkillers. After extreme travel partying left him more depressed, a sober bartender brought him into AA, leading to 15 months sober before complacency triggered relapse and costly benders. Now nine months sober, he’s rebuilding trust with his 13-year-old son, staying active in meetings and church, and emphasizing commitment, humility, amends, self-forgiveness, and “replaying the tape.”

In this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Ryan interviews his cousin Tom Donahoe, who shares his sobriety date (July 1, 2024), his progression from alcohol and cocaine to meth, and how family dysfunction, depression, and severe bullying and abuse from his sister shaped his self-image and fueled addiction. Tom recounts early blackouts, school failure, a Navy discharge after a cocaine drug test, a modeling career that coincided with relapses, and repeated attempts at sobriety. He describes timeshare work in Maui, relapsing into meth on his wedding day, hiding use from his wife, losing jobs, homelessness, stealing, and multiple arrests and jail time in Virginia Beach, where police nicknamed him “Spider-Man” for fleeing. He credits journaling, gratitude, meditation, meetings, rehab, and a spiritual awakening with rebuilding his life, reconnecting with his wife and daughter, and staying sober.
00:00 Self Criticism Spiral
01:10 Show Intro And Guest Setup
02:32 Addiction Origins And Family
04:23 Peer Pressure First Drink
07:08 Blackouts And Early Escalation
10:09 Sister Trauma And Shame
14:34 School Collapse And Crank
19:51 Navy Discharge Sparks Modeling
24:30 LA Success Relapse Cycle
27:49 Golds Gym Pills And Theft
33:03 Hawaii Rehab And Timeshare
35:46 Meth On Wedding Day
40:16 Marriage Falls Apart
40:44 Real Estate Relapse
41:25 Strip Club Blackout
43:18 Homeless and Meth Spiral
44:57 Virginia Beach Crime Cycle
47:12 Spider Man on the Run
48:07 Rock Bottom and Rehab
50:11 Daughter Reunion and Arrest
55:29 Courtroom Miracle
57:42 Dry Drunk to Spiritual Shift
01:04:21 Easter Call and Forgiveness
01:09:12 Self Love and Marriage Return
01:14:44 Advice for Staying Sober
01:18:54 Closing Quote and Goodbye

In this powerful interview, a survivor shares her journey through childhood neglect, addiction, trafficking, and her path to recovery. Her story highlights the realities of trafficking and addiction, emphasizing resilience and hope.

Wendy Grijalva shares her powerful journey through childhood trauma, addiction, recovery, and finding purpose. This episode offers insights into the complexities of addiction, the importance of a holistic recovery approach, and hope for those struggling.