Rock Bottom With Ryan

Vernon West: Two Sober Dates, Higher Power, Relapse, Cancer, and Finding Purpose in Recovery | Rock Bottom with Ryan
Ryan welcomes Vernon West from the Out of the Blue podcast to discuss recovery, spirituality, and service. Vernon shares two sober dates (Jan 30, 1990 and Aug 2, 11 years ago), growing up with an alcoholic father, and how Al‑Anon helped him reframe alcoholism as a disease. He recounts his own progression through music-industry drinking and drugs, a severe accident, detox in Hollywood, and a pivotal AA message about finding a personal higher power, leading him to sponsorship and working the 12 steps with rigor. After years sober, he stopped meetings, received a prostate cancer diagnosis, relapsed on marijuana, then later faced leukemia during COVID, staying sober while hospitalized. He describes how service, daily meetings, and creating his podcast supported healing and ongoing recovery.
 
00:00 Higher Power Spark 00:58 Recovery Garden Intro 01:24 Show Trailer Setup 01:52 Sponsor Message 02:40 Meet Vernon West 03:20 Two Sober Dates 03:50 Growing Up With Alcoholism 05:42 Dad Gets Sober Then Relapses 07:35 Music Career And Drugs 12:30 Engagement Jackpot Story 14:56 Detox To Hollywood 16:43 Finding Your Own Higher Power 18:56 Warmth Of LA AA 21:38 Working The Steps Daily 23:06 Fourth Step And Righteous Anger 23:56 Learning Forgiveness 25:18 Drifting From Meetings 27:11 Cancer Wake Up Call 28:12 Weed Relapse Spiral 29:21 Leukemia Diagnosis 30:25 Staying Sober Through Treatment 32:35 COVID Hospital Isolation 33:37 Starting Out of the Blue 36:09 Building the Podcast Team 37:58 Garden of the 12 Steps 41:01 Cake Mix and Sponsorship 43:44 Recovery Reflections and Closing

Bruce Haataja on Chaos Between My Ears, Bipolar 1, and Recovery | Rock Bottom with Ryan
 
On Rock Bottom with Ryan, Bruce Haataja discusses his debut book Chaos Between My Ears and the internal “committee” of voices that fueled his depression, confusion, and addiction. Raised in small-town Minnesota, he describes leaving traditional school, joining the National Guard at 17, and progressing from prescription opioids (Oxys/Percs) to heavy alcohol use while learning to hide his addiction through shame and preparation. He recounts a steep decline in 2024–2025, separation from his wife, a major manic episode, and quitting opioids partly out of spite during custody concerns, followed by extreme drinking, a failed inpatient stay, and success in partial hospitalization with intensive therapy and journaling that led to writing the book. Bruce shares lessons on stigma, support, accountability, and aims to become a psychotherapist.
 
00:00 Chaos in My Head 00:51 Sober Mission and Purpose 01:11 Show and Book Promo 02:15 Meet Bruce Hodia 03:03 Sober Date and Background 04:41 Childhood Depression and Committee 07:20 School Struggles and Dropping Out 09:02 National Guard and Early Use 12:25 Boot Camp Confidence and Masking 15:23 Daily Use and Bipolar Cycles 20:17 Rock Bottom and Separation 25:41 Treatment Wake Up Call 28:32 Therapy Tools and Journaling 31:12 Writing Chaos Between My Ears 31:49 Sober Career Pivot 32:43 Writing for Compassion 34:13 Support Systems Matter 35:18 Book Structure Explained 38:05 Healing Through Writing 40:28 Hope for Active Addicts 42:57 Reader Reactions and Grace 44:43 Public Recovery and Triggers 47:51 Next Books and Science 49:41 Misunderstood Addiction 53:35 Rebuilding After Damage 55:38 Grace Without Compromise 59:34 Audiobook and Where to Find 01:01:30 Rock Bottom as Beginning

From Rock Bottom to Sober Boozers Club: Ben’s Story + The Truth About NA Beer
In this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Ben from the UK’s Sober Boozers Club shares how he went from daily weed use as a teen to heavy drinking fueled by late-night TV shifts, cheap lager, cocaine, and MDMA, escalating after a traumatic marriage breakdown and a toxic relationship during COVID. After a final blowup that cost friendships, he quit drinking in January 2022 and white-knuckled early sobriety, briefly using weed in the first three months to avoid relapse. Ben explains how sober Instagram helped him find community, why not everyone in recovery becomes an extreme fitness person, and how alcohol-free beer became his ritual replacement and accountability tool. He addresses misconceptions about 0.5% ABV, discusses the growing NA beer industry, shares favorite NA picks, and offers advice: if you have a problem, stop lying about moderation and get better.
 
00:00 First Weed Memory 00:38 Sober Life Isn’t Perfect 01:23 Podcast Intro 02:00 Meet Ben’s Story 03:14 From Weed to Booze 05:13 Growing Up UK 07:33 Family Dynamics 09:40 First Drunk and First High 12:39 Weed and Early Sobriety 14:55 Drinking Escalates Fast 17:32 Toxic Relationship Peak 21:44 Last Night Drinking 25:18 Rock Bottom Decision 27:00 Friends Return and Healing 30:06 White Knuckling and Instagram 32:23 Finding Sober Instagram 33:27 Sobriety Without Reinvention 35:10 Origin of Sober Boozers 39:48 NA Beer Rituals 41:11 Misconceptions About 0.5 43:12 Industry Growth and Favorites 46:32 Turning Passion Into Work 48:02 Building Community Over Numbers 50:14 Handling Backlash and Gatekeeping 52:18 Authenticity and Content Style 54:21 Rapid Fire Fun Questions 56:23 Sobriety Advice and Wrap Up

Your Problem Isn’t Pornography: Hypnotherapy, Shame, and the Root Cause of Addiction | Rock Bottom with Ryan
 
On Rock Bottom with Ryan, host Ryan interviews clinical hypnotherapist and author Nelson Whiting of No Limits Hypnotherapy about his book "Your Problem Isn’t Pornography" and how pornography, alcohol, and other compulsive behaviors are symptoms of deeper subconscious issues. Whiting explains his background growing up LDS in Utah, early experiences with hypnosis and sports psychology, and why he believes clinical hypnotherapy can produce faster, more lasting results than willpower-based approaches or traditional talk therapy. He argues many clients share a core belief of “I’m not good enough,” with shame and perfectionism fueling relapse, and describes how triggers can disappear when the internal state is reprogrammed. They discuss dopamine and the brain’s pleasure vs. goal systems, secrecy and infidelity statistics, criteria for successful change, and resources including Whiting’s website and a free copy of his book with a Positive Mind Management training.
 
00:00 Hypnotherapy Beats Addiction 01:00 Podcast Intro and Sponsor 02:29 Meet Nelson Whiting 04:05 Why Porn Is a Symptom 06:15 Utah LDS Roots and Shame 08:17 First Mind Training Breakthrough 10:46 Stage Hypnosis Awakening 13:48 Flow State and Subconscious Programs 17:05 The Real Root Cause Not Enough 21:21 Case Study Perfectionism Spiral 27:23 Dopamine Goals and Brain Wiring 31:09 Triggers Privacy and Marriage Fallout 34:04 Shame as the Hidden Addiction 38:02 Guilt vs Growth 39:04 Self Love Fuels Change 41:00 Affirmations and Identity 44:21 Internal Healing Over Triggers 48:36 Rock Bottom Motivation 53:03 Honesty With Your Spouse 56:04 Shame’s Biggest Lie 59:51 What Freedom Looks Like 01:06:06 Who Hypnotherapy Helps 01:10:00 Truth Sets You Free

From Rock Bottom to Naturally High: Trauma-Informed Recovery, Nervous System Regulation & The Recovery Concierge (Jeanne Foot)
Ryan interviews Toronto-based addiction counselor and trauma-informed practitioner Jeanne Foot about her polysubstance use, entering recovery in August 1993 after a husband’s ultimatum, and how outpatient treatment and 12-step approaches didn’t address her childhood sexual abuse and complex PTSD. Jeanne describes feeling sober yet depressed and suicidal, relapsing while searching for healing, and later finding kundalini yoga and personal development as a path toward emotional sobriety. She explains nervous system regulation, neuroception, and how the body holds sensory memory of trauma, offering practical tools like breathwork and movement to reduce dysregulation. Jeanne outlines her integrated, neuroscience-based holistic model (somatics, epigenetics, lifestyle redesign) and her work through The Recovery Concierge, matching clients to appropriate treatment and coaching families, while challenging stigma and the “addict” label and de-emphasizing sober dates.
 
00:00 Outpatient and 12 Steps 01:02 Podcast Intro and Sponsor 02:08 Meet Jeanne and Her Story 03:48 Trauma Behind the Use 06:57 Family Chaos and Loss 09:12 Early Use and Rebellion 11:58 Ultimatum and Rock Bottom 14:20 Treatment Stigma and Shame 16:42 Beyond Meetings to Yoga 20:37 Nervous System Basics 22:49 Body Memory and Neuroception 24:34 Breathwork for Overwhelm 27:19 Why Calm Feels Unsafe 28:29 Career and Who She Helps 28:44 Recovery Navigation Work 29:55 Matching Treatment and Family Coaching 32:57 Three Brains Explained 34:19 Subconscious Beliefs and Ego 37:48 Trauma and Addiction Loops 40:09 Holistic Trauma Informed Model 42:46 We Are All Recovering 45:59 Building Recovery Concierge 49:12 Daily Life Then and Now 51:05 Final Advice and Wrap Up

Jen’s Rock Bottom: Mouthwash, Adderall, Two DWIs & the Sobriety “Closet” | Rock Bottom with Ryan
 
Jen from Minnesota joins Rock Bottom with Ryan to share how alcohol became her drug of choice, worsened by Adderall introduced in college, and progressed over about 10 years into severe dependence with intense withdrawals, blackouts, two DWIs, job loss, homelessness in detox, and drinking mouthwash, vanilla extract, and rubbing alcohol. She describes multiple treatment attempts, relapse cycles, and how honesty with her husband about hidden Adderall use helped her finally surrender and commit to sobriety on April 24, 2013. Jen also explains having a second “sobriety date” on September 7, 2017, when she publicly shared her recovery, leading her from Beachbody coaching into sobriety-focused group coaching and a membership community. She discusses why successful women often hide alcohol struggles, emphasizes discomfort tolerance and “play the tape forward,” and outlines six daily habits: hydration, gratitude, reading, movement, afternoon protein, and daily community check-ins.
 
00:00 Adderall and Drinking Shift 01:04 Sponsor and Show Intro 02:21 Meet Jen and Sober Date 05:16 Growing Up and Perfectionism 08:38 First Drinks at 15 10:01 Heartbreak and Adderall Seed 13:09 Withdrawals and Mouthwash 18:26 Secrets Surrender and Detox 26:38 Treatment Relapse and Recovery 29:47 Treatment and Community 31:24 Coming Out Sober 35:10 Building a Sobriety Coaching Career 38:49 Why Successful Women Hide Drinking 41:10 Six Daily Habits Framework 46:56 Social Media and Burnout 53:19 Compassion for Your Past Self 55:40 Discomfort and One Drink Trap 59:01 Play the Tape Forward Quote 01:01:41 Where to Find Jen 01:02:06 Final Sign Off

Tony Alexander on HIV, Meth Addiction, and Finding Recovery | Rock Bottom with Ryan
 
Tony Alexander shares his story from growing up in Tulsa, Oklahoma, realizing he was gay early, and facing religious stigma, to beginning alcohol use at 12 and later using weed. After moving to Dallas to teach elementary school, stress and dissatisfaction fueled heavier substance use. In 2002 he was diagnosed with HIV, and medication side effects increased his daily marijuana use. He later lost his teaching job after testing positive for weed and moved through Austin and Atlanta, where grief after his best friend’s death contributed to trying multiple drugs and eventually crystal meth. Meth use escalated quickly into paranoia, job loss, selling and trading sex for drugs, and failed attempts at IOP and rehab. In 2018 he entered Honor Bound, committed to recovery, joined Oxford House Pride, works multiple programs and meetings, and credits sponsorship, step work, and community for long-term sobriety.
 
00:00 Gay Bashing And Diagnosis 01:19 Show Intro And Sponsor 02:26 Meet Tony And Sober Date 04:02 Childhood And Family 06:34 Growing Up Gay In Church 09:00 Coming Out To Mom 15:19 First Drinks And Early Use 19:32 College Party Years 21:05 Bar Assault Story 24:27 Teaching Stress And Weekend Escape 00:34 HIV Diagnosis And Weed Use 30:27 Teaching Fallout And Meth Begins 33:59 First Meth Encounters 34:50 Texas Return And Real High 35:58 Hooked Fast At Work 36:30 Hustling For The Drug 38:09 Paranoia And Family Call 40:12 Early Treatment And Relapse 41:53 Ready For Rehab Again 44:51 Facing Trauma And HIV 48:22 Dream Spiritual Awakening 52:27 Oxford House New Life 56:36 Meetings Sponsorship Routine 59:16 Dating And Relationship Work 01:02:39 Advice Quotes And Farewell

Dora’s Rock Bottom: Juvenile Hall, Meth Addiction, Losing Her Kids & Finding Recovery | Rock Bottom with Ryan
 
On Rock Bottom with Ryan, Dora shares her story of trauma and addiction: losing a sister before birth, being taken by CPS as a baby, growing up in foster care and group homes, early diagnoses and medication, sexual abuse triggers, and entering juvenile hall from ages 12–17 after a violent incident. She describes starting drugs and alcohol young, falling hard into meth at 14, toxic and abusive relationships, escalating theft and burglary charges, repeated incarceration, and the pain of CPS taking her four children, whom she hasn’t spoken to in 15 years. A major turning point was her brother’s heroin overdose at 16, and later a suspended prison sentence that pushed her into a Christian-based program, meetings, sponsorship, and step work. Sober since March 27, 2017 after a brief relapse, Dora now works in addiction services, is pursuing CADAC, and discusses triggers, helping overdose patients, and advice for newcomers.
 
00:00 Juvie and Family Struggles 01:01 Show Intro and Sponsor 02:08 Meet Dora and Sobriety 03:10 Trauma and Foster Care 06:00 Abandonment and Rebellion 07:13 Mental Health Diagnosis 10:54 Juvie Cycle Begins 14:51 First Drugs and Meth Hook 16:11 Sexual Trauma Triggers 18:01 Adult Jail and Street Life 23:14 Wake Up Call Brother Dies 25:39 Trying School and Work 26:07 Dropping Out and Setbacks 26:39 Years In and Out of Jail 27:06 CPS Took My Kids 27:57 Domestic Violence and Addiction 28:52 Facing Prison Changed Everything 31:43 Program Work and Relapse 35:46 Fourth Step and Trauma 37:32 Daily Sobriety Routine 38:25 Kids and Making Amends 40:05 New Relationships and Marriage 42:21 Career Turnaround in Recovery 44:13 Clinic Work and Overdose Scare 47:43 24 Hours Then vs Now 49:25 Triggers and Staying Accountable 50:07 Advice and Closing Quotes 52:12 Final Thanks and Sign Off

High-Functioning Alcoholism to Alcohol-Free Success: Lindsay’s Sobriety Journey | Rock Bottom with Ryan
 
Lindsay shares how she began drinking young amid her parents’ divorce and a family culture that glamorized alcohol, then carried heavy partying into college and adulthood. Though outwardly successful, she became a high-functioning daily drinker in her 30s during a divorce and a workplace with a strong drinking culture, secretly drinking at home, constantly negotiating rules, and feeling depleted, irritable, and disconnected. After a failed AA attempt, a sobriety book in 2018 sparked a “sober curious” path of practicing not drinking in key situations (like football Sundays) and reshaping her identity. Her last drink was August 9, 2020; she quit ahead of a hysterectomy and a demanding new job, excelled professionally, improved her marriage and family relationships, and now coaches high-achieving women on self-trust, discomfort tolerance, and breaking drinking negotiations.
 
00:00 Early Drinking Roots 01:39 Show Intro and Sponsor 02:48 Meet Lindsay and Sober Stats 05:29 Childhood and Family Drinking 08:40 College Partying to Career 12:01 Divorce and Daily Coping 14:29 Trying to Drink Normally 17:27 Secret Drinking and Shame 20:47 Sober Curious Breakthrough 27:15 Lifestyle Changes and Marriage 31:24 Family Holidays Without Alcohol 33:38 Dropping the Stigma 35:05 Repulsed by Drinking 35:31 Showing Up for Family 38:07 Practicing Not Drinking 41:23 Career Wake Up Call 47:37 From Sobriety to Coaching 48:27 Rebuilding Self Trust 49:53 Negotiating and Rewards 54:10 Pressure and Perfectionism 01:02:05 Advice and Closing

Leslie Patricia: Drunk Driving Crash, Childhood Trauma, and 9 Years Sober | Rock Bottom with Ryan
 
Ryan interviews author Leslie Patricia Lohr, who shares her sobriety date (Oct 31, 2017), alcohol as her main addiction, and a childhood marked by generational abuse, alcoholism, and instability. She describes becoming a high-functioning alcoholic who drank heavily, experienced withdrawals, shame cycles, and strained relationships, while her father later got sober but died of liver cancer and her mother died young while still drinking. Leslie’s turning point was a severe drunk-driving crash after drinking at lunch and a hockey game, leaving her with major injuries and legal consequences, plus the haunting realization she could have killed someone. Early sobriety involved SMART Recovery, therapy, and intense grief and suicidal thoughts, but she never relapsed and rebuilt her life through endurance training, fitness and nutrition credentials, and writing her book, Showing Up Anyways, about forgiveness and embracing her inner child.
 
00:00 Losing Mom Young 01:26 Sponsor Break 02:39 Meet Leslie Patricia 04:20 Sober Date Basics 05:45 Family Trauma Roots 09:33 Teen Drinking Escape 10:53 Functioning Alcoholic Life 14:01 Parents Deaths Impact 16:49 When Drinking Got Noticed 18:49 Worst Days and Withdrawals 22:53 Wake Up Calls and Shame 24:37 Crash That Changed Everything 27:59 Aftermath and No Harm Reduction 29:57 Host DUI Reflection 31:08 Crash Aftermath 31:50 SMART Recovery Lifeline 34:10 First Year Sober 36:40 Healing Self Loathing 37:48 Fitness As Recovery 40:56 Turning Journal Into Book 43:29 Hardest Chapters 46:39 Second Chance Mindset 48:50 Leaving Meetings Behind 52:56 Advice Just Do It 54:37 Meaning Keep Showing Up 56:49 Book Quote And Farewell